dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
