i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
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She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.