Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
