we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize