I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
