I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize