I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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