There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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