JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
