Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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