Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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