never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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