Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
