the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
