we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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