I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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