??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
