The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Randomize
