sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
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He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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