I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
