so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I skipped work to stalk him.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
