I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
