we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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