i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize