Four minutes until I can fart!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
