ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
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I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
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You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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