You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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