I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
