sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
