I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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