I need help removing her.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
