mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
