that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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