Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize