You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
