Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
