In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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