I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
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I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
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What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.