Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.