I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I have aggressive nipples.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize