she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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