i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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