Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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