he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
farters have to be the big spoon...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
