I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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