dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
