the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
