At least make sure they are 18
Why
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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