i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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