Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I touched a dick in church today
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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