If i come over, it means nothing
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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