yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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