Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize