It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
