yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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