Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
