i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
